Well, Friends, we KNOW we've got a great church at First UMC...but how can you tell if you're in the WRONG church?
This list is an oldie but a goodie, somewhat updated.
TOP TEN SIGNS YOU'RE IN THE WRONG CHURCH
10. The church van has gun racks. (Hey, what's so funny about that?)
9. The church staff consists of Senior Pastor, Associate Pastor, and Sociopath.
8. The Bible they use is the Dr. Seuss version.
7. There is an ATM in the lobby. (Actually, I've seen that before)
6. The choir wears leather choir robes.
5. The worship services are BYOS (bring your own snake).
4. There's no cover charge, but Communion is a two-drink minimum.
3. The Pastor regularly attends meetings in Las Vegas and Atlantic City. (and Tunica?)
2. The ushers ask, "Smoking, or non-smoking?"
1. The Women's Quartet are all married to the Pastor.
Can you think of any others to add to the list? Let us know at firstname.lastname@example.org!
Join us in worship, Sunday School, and Wednesday Night Live, and let's celebrate all of the things that we do RIGHT!